WELCOME TO CRYSTAL COURT. I AM THE HONORABLE JUDGE ფﺖ☎♿թᏇᚏ. ALL RISE.
(The judge taps his $63 crystal gavel. Billions of tiny prismatic particles radiate out from his bench, flooding the universe with seeds of life that eventually populate hundreds of planets.)
I AM SETTING YOUR BAIL AT ⌚ჯ¶
When you were little, you got scolded for picking the cereal out of your Lucky Charms and just eating the marshmallows. Now is your time to live that horrible, horrible dream of your childhood. Pick up 8 pounds of cereal marshmallows and bury your stupid fucking face in there and eat until you die or someone from the Food Network gives you a cooking show.
LAWL. THIS IS A REAL THING.
also hilarious - 8 lbs of marshmallows is like 40 bucks. not including 9 dollars of shipping. WHO WOULD BUY THIS??? seriously. who has the money, OR the desire to buy EIGHT POUNDS OF CEREAL MARSHMALLOWS. i cannot wrap my head around this, truly.